Welcome to Suburgatory

What happens when 16-year-old Tessa is moved from her beloved hometown of Manhattan to the suburbs? A whole lot of humorous judgment, that's for sure. George, Tessa's dad, has decided to "bubble wrap her life" and move to a suburb after finding condoms in her room. What Tessa now has to live with probably isn't your ordinary suburb. Instead, everyone can be classified as plastic, Nerf-ball orange, part of a "Momageddon" or all of the above. It's safe to say Tessa's world has been tossed upside down.

The thing that makes this show amusing to watch, for me, is the relationship Tessa and George have. It's not like the relationship most parents have with their teenagers. They can't seem to see eye-to-eye about a lot of things. For instance, Tessa related herself in the new city to a dead fish, while George related it to when Tessa thought she'd hate a black-and-white, subtitled movie, but instead actually liked it.

Tessa's mom ditched shortly after she was born, leaving single-dad George to raise her. So, after the move, George got it into his head that Tessa needs a motherly figure. This may have something to do with all of the women of the suburb being attracted to him. And this doesn't stop when it comes to work, either. George is an architect. His first client was a mother who wanted to renovate her daughter's room to make her feel "beautiful." The married woman, named Dallas, is clearly interested in George, and once she heard he had a daughter, she wanted to take them to the mall after the first day of school.

On Tessa's first day of school, she got a "buddy" to show her around. This "buddy," named Dalia, was the typical pink-wearing, sugar-free Red Bull-sipping "bee-otch" of the suburb. Throughout the day, Tessa had been called a "lesbian" for wearing a hoodie, jeans and boots, and to make matters worse, she was being picked up on her way home to go to the mall with her dad, his client and her daughter, Dalia.

At the mall, Dallas found out that Tessa wore a bra that could be considered an Ace bandage. So she felt obligated to buy her a nice bra, one that would be pink, of course, with a few little black bows. Although Tessa felt that the gift was inappropriate, she knew that it was "by far the prettiest thing she owned." She then began to think that maybe behind the artificial breasts, there could be a non-artificial heart.

Needless to say, I've found myself a new show to watch. "Suburgatory" airs Wednesdays at 7:30 p.m. on ABC.