This randomly picked day can be simply explained as a boost in the economy with a surge in sales of chocolates, roses and intimate novelties. 

As college girls, we disagree with Forest Gump—life's not a box of chocolates, we prefer to know exactly what we're getting.

Not only do college girls hate surprises, but apparently February 14 gives bros the okay to seriously stalk us. Creeps come out of the shadows, bros confess their obsession toward us and pros try to woo us with expensive dinners. Sorry, but college girls prefer to be wined and dined without the extra cals.  

For other girls, this day is filled with eating mounds of chocolate that they probably bought themselves while sobbing to The Notebook, solo. If college girls know anything, this is the one day we act selflessly by making a trip to the food pantry to donate all the boxes of chocolates and SweetHearts we received. Candy hearts are a joke. If your compliments include calories, we aren't interested. Using a hunk of sugar to tell us that we're ‘sweet,' ‘cute' or ‘hot,' is a pathetic attempt at getting our attention. College girls don't need to be reassured, we already know how perfect we are.

Since we've made it clear that college girls will give away whatever edibles bros give us, you might think the next best move is to visit the florist. Think again. Long before the roses die, a college girl will have lost all interest in the plant-purchasing bro. The only type of plant a college girl likes is celery. Zero cals, duh. Chocolate causes obesity, roses wilt and the only movie a college girl wants to see is the one with Chelsea Handler that ironically debuts on February 14.

So what's left to get a college girl? The obvious answer is a diamond. Heart necklaces, those ugly infinity pendants and any other sentimental metals that probably came from Claire's mean nothing to us. Still don't know what to get a college girl? Ask Tiffany, she knows best.

Sincerely,

Your Elite College Girls