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Battle it out with Bill & Becca

How do you know if you’re actually into someone rather than just liking the idea of them?

On November 8, 2011

Avoid impulse, analyze, and evaluate

An easy way to tell if your feelings are of infatuation opposed to something more "real," is to rationalize the situation. People tend to get caught up in their feelings and forget to think over the situation. They make impulsive decisions about relationships. A good way to get around this problem is to analyze the person's personality by making a list of pros and cons. You will be surprised at what you will find.

 If you do this then you will make more realistic decisions about who you want to seduce. Also, "love at first sight" is some risky business. Acting upon the emotions associated with love at first sight usually doesn't work because you can not know the background of that person and can't do an evaluation of their personality.

 Basically, what I am saying is that you shouldn't follow your heart, but follow your brain.

Let's face the facts, our hearrts are dumb; they tend to get us into more trouble than not. It's the difference between lust and love. If you are unsure of your situation concerning your relationship, take a step back and review the facts. Because, sometimes the person you are trying to seduce with your sexy charm is not that great of a person.

-Bill

To be in like, to be in love

The scenario always is the same: I meet a guy, he asks me out, we start dating, then I realize that I don't necessarily like him.  I get so caught up in what I'm feeling, the excitement of a new relationship, that the rest gets thrown by the wayside.  

Here is when I know I fell in like with like: when I would spend all of my time thinking about how great things were, but not necessarily wanting to hang out with the guy. He could call and want to get together, but I would always find reasons why I couldn't. I needed to teach my fish to swim, my TV told me to stay tuned, or a whole plethora of reasons why I was just to hectic to see him. Yes, I wanted to be with him. I loved "coupley" things, but that didn't make hanging out much fun. It felt more like an interview of asking questions or answering them without any real bonding.

In comparison, when I fell in love, I wanted to be with the guy. I wanted to tell my friends and family about him and the funny joke that he told the other day, etc. We had things in common, and I liked him in a way that is irreplaceable. As in, if I met a cuter guy, a funnier guy, a Ryan Gosling look-alike guy, I would still be happy with him. What I am trying to get at is when you fall in love with love, it's a pretty one-sided thing, you can carry on with just the image of someone in your head and the love filled notions of how great things are or will be. Ask yourself, do you like spending time with him/her?  If there was a better "catch" available would you still like him/her as much? Do you run out of things to talk about? What do you like about the other person? When you answer these questions you might have a better insight. However, if you have to question it, the chances are that you already know your answer.

-Becca


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