The 52nd Grammy Awards came and went without a Kanye West moment, and I’m not going to lie, I was a bit disappointed. However there was surely plenty else to gossip about. How about Elton John and Lady Gaga getting dirty together to open the night? Seriously, what was it with the arms sticking out of the piano? Although, I have to say I was relieved that there wasn’t any blood to go with the torn appendages this time around. Stephen Colbert stirred the pot by lamenting over why Susan Boyle had not been a nominee: “"Justin Timberlake may have brought sexy back, but Susan Boyle sent it away again." The funny man not only won over smiles, but rightfully earned his first Grammy for Best Comedy Album.
Taylor Swift was the big name of course, just as I had predicted. She may not have won Record of the Year or Song of the Year, but she did win four out of her eight nominations, including the coveted Album of the Year, Best Country Album, Best Female Vocal Country Performance and Best Country Song, both for “White Horse.” Beyoncé faired even better with half-a-dozen wins, setting the record for most wins in a single night by a female. “Single Ladies ( Put a Ring on It)” claimed Song of the Year, Best Female R&B Vocal Performance and Best R&B Song. Beyoncé’s performance of "At Last" earned her Best Traditional R&B Vocal Performance honors, and "Halo" was the top Female Pop Vocal Performance.
I admit, I am impressed by my own 60% accuracy of predicting this year’s Grammy Award winners. Kings of Leon really did steal the thunder from Rock’s aging nominees; winning Record of the Year, Best Rock Song, and Rock Performance by a Duo or Group With Vocals for "Use Somebody." They, however, forgot to utilize a hair stylist and had thinner and longer hair than their skinny neckties; which may also be attributed to their testimony of being a bit “drunk, but happy drunks.” But we won’t blame it on the alcohol, because the theatrical performance of “Blame It (On The Alcohol)” by Jamie Foxx, T-Pain, Slash, and Doug E Fresh was vastly more entertaining due to its eccentric exhibition of what not to wear; complete with ridiculous tails, boots, and a golden wig worn by T-Pain, (no doubt Cousin Itt’s actual cousin).
Unquestionably, the night was chock-full with plenty more quintessential and questionable outfits.
Beyoncé brought an entire army of militant muscle to the show, but it was her vocals that were fierce, not her dress. Fergie brought vocals and excitement, but her dress also lacked luster and was not at all Fergalicious.
Katie Perry was on my list of the night’s worst dressed, wearing a nude colored Zac Posen gown that had golden flowers in all the wrong places. Looking cheap wasn’t all Perry had to worry about. Paired with Alice Cooper as presenters, the world may have received a glimpse of what Perry’s fiancé Russell Brand may look like in ten years.
Rihanna actually made it to the Grammys this year, but it looked as if both she and her stylist wanted to make sure if she was going to be choked at any point during the night her Elie Saab could withstand the attack; a feathered turtleneck is unflattering, and just looks plain weird when you cut off the back and add a flowing dress to the bottom hem.
Keith Urban obviously did not receive help from his glamorous wife, (Nicole Kidman), and instead looked as if he may be returning to rehab soon.
Nora Jones’ short locks were luscious, but Leon Russell, who performed with New Artist of The Year winners the Zac Brown Band, needs to desperately do something about his cracked-out Santa look. It was downright disgusting.
While Mary J. Blige may have cussed out her band publicly prior to the Grammys, she maintained a dignified level of normalcy and at least showed compassion for Haiti, singing “Bridge Over Troubled Water” with Andrea Bocelli. Nevertheless, the ‘Blige Freak-out’ can now be viewed pious after poor role-models, Lil’ Wayne and Drake, had parents everywhere giving praise for censorship during the night’s final performance.
The night’s pinnacle performances materialized within just the first hour of its airing. Green Day’s performance with the future cast of Broadway’s American Idiot, (based off the band’s ‘04 album American Idiot), was truly brilliant, as was Pink’s own Cirque du Soleil soaring performance that left many jaws on floor.
Michael Jackson’s kids looked normal and offered a tender moment, although it was the much anticipated 3-D tribute to M.J. that offered the most compassion. Featuring Céline Dion, Carrie Underwood, Jennifer Hudson, Usher and Smokey Robinson singing “Earth Song,” which was suppose to be a centerpiece for Jackson’s This Is It tour. The tribute rose awareness of Jackson’s love of nature and daunting present environmental problems; hopefully resulting in vast contributions to the Arbor Day Foundation and others. Of all the night’s performances, “Earth Song” was certainly my pick of the best fashion. Céline epitomized my “cougar” fantasies, Usher and Robinson looked dapper, Carrie looked golden, and Jennifer’s curves were accentuated in an astounding black Victoria Beckham dress.
Yet, my utmost unsurpassed ruler of the red carpet was Glee’s it-girl, Lea Michele, wearing a striking blue Romona Keveza cocktail dress. Ticketed for the worst fashion was Britney Spears, who unwisely chose to wear a Dolce and Gabbana black bodysuit, which looked a lot more like lingerie to me. Although, it’s nice to know the mom has finally deemed it appropriate to put her skivvies back on.
Greg's Grammy Rundown
Published: Friday, February 5, 2010
Updated: Friday, February 5, 2010
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