Ah, Valentine’s Day. The one time of the year dedicated solely to roses and boxed chocolates and the romantic greeting card industry. It’s enough to make a person swoon with delight—unless that person is single. Facing “the couple’s holiday” alone is painful enough, but it’s even worse when it’s inescapable. Festive decorations here, lovesick television commercials there, that guy and his girlfriend not so inconspicuously making out in the hallway; they can all really take their toll.
Have no fear. If you have found yourself planning alternate routes through Wimberly on the margins of your notebook just to avoid an overzealous couple or two, put down the pen. Here now is a compilation of the ten most notoriously romantic places in the greater La Crosse area that the Valentine-less should evade at all costs this fourteenth of February.
1. Quiet, wintry parks. What better or more cliché place for a tête-à-tête? Doubtlessly there will be more than a few hang-holding pairs opting for a peaceful walk through the snow.
2. Any reservation-required restaurant. A date almost always includes getting a meal somewhere nice.
3. Make that any restaurant in general just to be safe.
4. Dimly lit cafés. The young adult demographic has been seeking alternative hangout spots with a comfortable atmosphere in recent years, and this happens to scream “DATE DESTINATION”.
5. Jewelry stores. Unless you want to be bombarded by choirs of “Oh, you shouldn’t have!” it’s best to steer clear.
6. The upstairs bedrooms at house parties. The doors are closed for a reason and going into detail on this subject is unnecessary. In fact, you know what, let’s just make this a year-round rule.
7. Movie theatres. You will probably be the only one actually watching the movie if you do go.
8. The Internet. It knows you’re single, and it will take the opportunity to remind you of this every chance it gets.
9. Campus. Thankfully, Valentine’s Day is not a school day, but you might want to seriously reconsider going to the library to study.
10. Outside your bedroom door. The only way to be sure of escaping this nauseating holiday is to skip it altogether.
No matter how extreme the measure you should choose to take, just remember that Valentine’s Day is one day and one day only. Minimizing casualties until February fifteenth is possible regardless of the odds. Godspeed and good luck!
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