Census Consensus

You may have noticed the commotion in Whitney Center, and, while it has been only ten years since the last Census, most students can't, and probably wouldn't want to, remember those preteen days back in the year 2000 when the population last attempted to count itself. But like any mass involuntary program, the census is shrouded and mired in controversy.

Although the Constitution requires a decennial headcount, it states nothing about the disclosure of personal information which is where many get their undies in a bundle. The Census Bureau claims it needs this additional information to "ensure accuracy and to forecast, implement, and monitor government policies and programs." As you can imagine, it comes to no surprise that students are eager to disassociate and rebel against our consumer-driven, anti-youth, unrepresentative government by refusing to be counted.

But let's be honest, it's ten questions and nothing is going to happen if our government finds out our age. In fact, our crafty government made the form even easier to fill out this decade by removing the old "long form" version and replacing it with this "none of us are smarter than fifth graders" version. If, as a college student, especially at a university as esteemed as UW-L, you find it difficult to remember your own name, gender, birth date, and race then you may want to reconsider any college aspirations and perhaps find out who's withholding this information.

Despite the fact that, as college students, the form has even less questions, there are plenty of reasons why you should succumb to the greater good and include yourself in the general population. Besides the obvious funding benefits for school districts and transportation, the 2010 Census is guaranteed to help students once they depart from Never Land and merge with the ever growing population as full-fledged adults. From funding for hospitals and schools to building roads and infrastructure, the census relies on population tallies to distribute appropriate funds. So when you crack out of this isolated snow globe that you have encapsulated yourself into for four plus years, it will be nice to enter a fully functional society. Specific allocations aside, at its core, the census is the starting point in deciding what to do with over $400 billion in tax money. If you don't voluntarily count yourself, you will get a nice little visit from the government through a canvassing program which will cost taxpayers an extra $3 billion. Counting oneself is the best way to keep that money where it came from, and besides, who doesn't like to be counted?