I am at loss.
I was sort of excited to pick up The Racquet's last issue for February 9th. I don't normally keep up with the newspaper, but I was so horribly depressed in anticipation of Valentine's Day that I thought maybe I could do something out of the ordinary to liven things up. Bonus, maybe some cute nerd would see me reading it and strike up a convo…
Anyway, after quickly flipping past the boring first two pages (seriously, who cares about Tibetan monks or online courses?), and making a mental note about the rocking new bars downtown that I will hit up as soon as I can find a fake, I reached the good stuff…
Is Valentine's Day just a Hallmark holiday? No! It has so much meaning for lovers everywhere, as well as people who are dying to be lovers, much like me. Don't get me wrong, I am not unhappy; I am just in a self-inflicted time of transition in order to find myself. So, of course, I was very happy to see a recipe for how to make Pink Velvet Cake Pops! Starbucks has those!
You guys gave me so many great ideas for next year, as I am sure that something central to my personality will have changed and I will have found a long-term boyfriend so I can celebrate Valentine's Day. However, to get to the point of my letter, I will never know if I will find my one and only, because you failed to include my horoscope; Libra! I am at a loss for what to do now, because I might have missed a vital key to finding my future lover! This is my priority; it's not like I have homework at college or anything.
So, I am very disappointed and will never again pick up The Racquet. Unless, you write an issue profiling the LaX football team and who's single, that is.
Sincerely,
An "Elite" College Gal
is a member of the 
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